Apprehended
by Kay Ross
Summary: Soi-Fon's top three operatives stood at the door holding a grinning Yoruichi bound by rope. "Got me." / Soi-Fon sends the Onmitsukido to apprehend Shihoin Yoruichi for the most interesting of reasons. Yuri, YoruSoi. Kinda suggestive, but no full-on smut. Oh, and humor!


**So here's my second YoruSoi one-shot! Hoping you'll enjoy it. :)**

* * *

Soi Fon set her hand down the desk, the muffled 'thump' startling her lumbering oaf of a vice-captain.

"Is anything wrong, taichou?" He asked, halfway through a fish cracker.

Soi Fon was scribbling as fast as she could on a piece of paper. She had made up her mind. "Omaeda."

"Yes sir!"

"Get three of our best men and mobilize these orders. _Immediately._ Instruct one of them to return to my office for further instruction when it is done." She held out the paper to the large man who, in turn, grabbed it with stubby fingers.

"W-what?" He muttered through a mouthful of crumbs.

"Is it really hard that hard to understand?" She glared daggers.

"N-no! On the way taichou! Hehe see?! Se snappy!"

"Imbecile." Soi Fon allowed herself a smile as she watched Omaeda run away for what was probably his life. But back to business, she had paperwork to finish.

* * *

"You've got to be kidding me." If the Onmitsukido didn't wear masks, we'd probably see this man's jaw drop. But the expression on his eyes were enough. "We're gonna die, you know that right?"

"You either die by taichou, or by _her._ Either way, we're gonna die!" Omaeda sobbed.

"Point taken." Squad leader 1 shook his head. "I'll contact #2 and #3 and we'll do our best... if that even makes a difference." He shivered. "Please tell my wife I love her!" He sobbed.

"Heeeeey, c'mon!" The vice-captain cupped the operative's shoulder, wiping on crumbs on his uniform in the process. "It can't be that hard!"

"Firstly," Squad leader #1's vein popped. "Get your filthy hands off me!"

"But-"

"SECONDLY." The masked man growled, "YOU WANNA DO THE HONOR OF APPREHENDING _SHIHOIN YORUICHI_?!"

Omaeda paled. "NOPE! Not my job! See you, #1-san! It was nice knowing youuuuuuuuu~" The large captain ran away, surprisingly agile.

"Well," Squad Leader 1 took a nice, deep breath. "fuck. Here I go."

* * *

Yoruichi dodged a kick. It was easy as breathing, she didn't even look up from the _manga_ she was reading under a slightly secluded tree. "You even trying?" She called out to the mysterious assailant. Suddenly, there were two more.

She raised an eyebrow. "Seriously?" She inched to left in an effortless dodge, and a dagger lodged itself on the tree she was leaning on. "I don't have time for this. I was gonna take a cat-nap."

The assailants suddenly came into view, wearing civilian clothes and masks to hide their identities. Yoruichi narrowed her eyes. In a flash, all three were gone one second, and then surrounding her, weapons drawn. She smiled. "You guys ex-onmitsukido or something? You can change the clothes but not the moves!" She was gone.

"Shit!"

"Over here!" She called out, standing on a different tree several yards away. They cursed and quickly flash-stepped in pursuit, only to find one of them suddenly change trajectory downward. "Thanks for the lift!" They looked up, seeing Yoruichi mid-backflip having used one of the operatives' head as stepping stone.

They cursed as they prepared to land. "But!" Their eyes widened. "I'm also over here!" She grinned, pushing out her palm. "Sho!" A force of energy hit the operatives, cursing that something as simple as Hado #1 could push them off-course.

"This is a suicide mission!" #2 muttered through gritted teeth.

"Oh, mission you say?" Her eyes widened, finding Yoruichi grinning right beside her, slinging an arm around her shoulder like a casual friend. "You guys don't even look like you're trying!"

She disappeared in a flash and re-appeared on a nearby tree. "This is a nice piece of paper." She smiled devilishly. "Wonder what's in it?"

#1 frisked himself in a panic, realizing she had stolen the orders and he didn't even know _when._

Then, her smile fell.

 _This is a direct order from the Commander-in-Chief of the Onmitsukido and Captain of the 2nd Division, Shaolin Fon._

 _Apprehend Shihoin Yoruichi. Use full force if needed._

 _Once target is acquired, report to my office for further instruction_

"Soi Fon?" She furrowed her eyebrows.

The operatives took the distraction as an opportunity and soon, a blade was rapidly on it's way to her throat.

"Oooooohhh, fuck." #3 cursed as he crashed to her side, having been tossed when Yoruichi grabbed his blade _with her bare hand_ and threw him off with it.

 _What did I do?_ She thought, slightly frantic. The operatives looked at each other, bewildered at how someone could pace around in thought so carelessly with three assailants literally _right. there._ #1 took this as a sign and attempted to catch her in a grapple, in which she, without even looking, simply spun around her heel and ducked, changing her direction from his attack without even a sign of effort. She continued to pace. #2 came next, wielding throwing blades at each hand and sending them flying with deadly precision. She gasped as she saw Yoruicihi move as if she was dancing, dodging every single one without breaking the look of thought and concentration on her face.

#3 took the time the two attacks bought to prepare his incantation.

 _What could have upset her?_ Yoruichi continued to pace, much like how a cat would.

"Bakudo #61: Rikujo-" He faltered when he saw Yoruichi's golden eyes shoot right at him, annoyance event.

"Sai!" Suddenly, all three of them dropped to the ground, arms forced behind their backs in such a simple binding Kido. "There. Now I can think better."

Pacing, pacing, pacing... the three just continued to watch her pace, wondering why they hadn't been killed yet.

Then suddenly, she grinned. "I get it now." She undid their bonds. "Alright! You wanted to capture me, right? Let's get this started!"

The three looked at each other in confusion, but a mission was a mission.

* * *

There was a knock on Soi Fon's office.

"Enter."

Her top three operatives stood at the door holding a grinning Yoruichi bound by rope. "Got me."

"It seems so." Gold clashed with iron as they stared each other down, tension building.

#1 gulped, afraid to be in the middle of such a dangerous cross-fire. But until Soi-Fon had dismissed them, they could not and _would not_ go. Such was the duty of the Onmitsukido.

"Leave her in here."

"Yes sir!" The three of them bowed and then shoved Yoruicihi into the room before closing the door.

"You got me scared for a second there." Yoruichi smirked, already out of her binds. "You actually let them use full force on me?" She teased, mocking hurt.

"Oh, please. They'd need full force just so _survive._ " Soi Fon casually tucked away the paperwork she was working on. She put away the brush and closed the inkwell. Yoruichi raised in eyebrow. _Procrastinating work? How unlikely._ She grinned.

"So why the goose chase?" Yoruichi eyed her as she got up and walked towards her.

"I needed time to work; you were probably bored."

"You know me well." Soi Fon, at this point, backed her up against the wall. She grinned once again. "But this is new."

The comment made Soi Fon blush a bit, suddenly aware and self-conscious of what she was doing to her Yoruichi-sama.

"Now, now, little bee." Yoruichi pulled her close. "I kinda like it." She winked.

"Mm." Soi Fon melted into Yoruichi as the latter pulled her in for a kiss. She broke it for some air and to nip at the elder's ear.

Yoruichi shivered. It was a cat-thing, most likely. Yoruichi did quick work of Soi Fon's haori, next was the sash, next was her hands traveling into the loose hakama and along her bare sides. Soi-Fon responded accordingly, moaning and breathing down on Yoruichi's neck at the sensation. She continued to nibbled and kiss while she brought her hands down, unzipping the orange jacket. "Impatient." The Shihoin grinned.

" _Punctual._ " Soi-Fon skillfully and precisely tore at Yoruichi's top's weak-points, earning a look from the elder shiningami. "I'll replace it."

"So my jacket coming off is part of your schedule for today?" Yoruichi spoke into Soi Fon's hair. The smaller girl slid her hands underneath the orange and black garments. "Soi..." Yoruichi's breath hitched. "Soi... _ohhhh_.. right _there._ " Soi Fon's mouth was moving down from her neck, to the collarbone and even farther down, spreading a lovely trail of kisses while Yoruichi's hands shot up to pull at her hair.

"19:00." Soi Fon whispered into chocolate skin while hands traveled.

"Hmm?" Yoruichi gave curious look, quickly replaced by a moan.

"Time. By 19:00 today, Yoruichi-sama, you will be at my mercy."

 _ **-THUD-**_

The two suddenly broke apart, looking towards the door where the noise came from. "There's blood pooling by the opening!" Yoruichi lazily tossed a robe over and Soi Fon did the same, rushing to slide the door open.

Squad Leader 1 was lying unconscious in a pool of blood... from his _nose._

"T-taichou..."

"Shihoin-dono..."

And then Squad Leaders 2 and 3 fell in a simultaneous thud while a massive nosebleed over came them at the two women's half-dressed state.

Soi Fon turned tomato red and Yoruichi doubled over, laughing herself to death.

"SOI FON I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU- HAHAHAH!"

"YORUICHI-SAMA THIS ISN'T FUNNY!"

"THEY HEARD IT ALL! OHMYGOD THEY HEARD US! _AND THE LOOKS ON YOUR FACES!_ "

"YORUICHI-SAMA, QUIET DOWN!"

"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU FORGOT TO DISMISS THEM!" Tears were forming on Yoruichi's face, and Soi Fon... well, was it even healthy to be _that_ red? "But..." Yoruichi breathed in to regain her composure between snickers. "That 'at your mercy' line was kinda hot, little bee." She winked.

"YORUICHI-SAMAAAAAA!"

* * *

 **Hehe there wasn't much fluff here! But have some naughty-laughs. ;) I was hoping to improve on my characterization on these two. Pretty please, review! And if you have time I'd like your constructive input on how well I'm keeping them in (criticism, if out of) character!**


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